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11 Things We Learned From *That* Michelle Branch Live 👀
Ma'am, that was some tea -- and theeeeen sooooome.
Posted on July 31, 2023, at 6:45 a.m.
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ICYMI: Michelle Branch doubled down on those audacious Taylor Hanson comments in a completely unhinged but thoroughly enjoyable AMA on Instagram live last night. The "Everywhere" singer let loose and encouraged fans to submit "everything you've ever wanted to know." -- and boy, did they ever.
Below are 11 things we learned from the live that will live on forever in infamy.
Below are 11 things we learned from the live that will live on forever in infamy.
1. Michelle and Taylor "quasi dated" between 2000 and 2002.
According to Michelle, "We dated as much as two kids let loose in LA could date." A fan asked her to clarify, to which the singer replied coyly: "I think you should ask him if we dated..." Ooooh gurl. (Maybe we will)
2. Even if their definition of dating is still tbc, Michelle went on to tell fans: "We used to hook up at the studio all the time. Like, all the time. Everyone would go home and it would be just us two. Or we made sure we were the first ones there. He was a horny little f***er. Backseat of his BMW? Check."
3. The dirtiest place they ever uhhh "hooked up"? His brother's bed. Oddly, Michelle didn't specify which one.
4. And the first time she ever got drunk? At the afore mentioned studio with Taylor and his brothers and an "endless supply of whiskey and blow."
5. Her sophomore album, Hotel Paper, is 100% about their situationship.
From lyrics about talking photos of him sleeping, to the line: "maybe this wind blowing in just came from the ocean." "I used to read stories about how he said he realized he wanted to marry her (Taylor's now ex-wife, Natalie) because of some gust of wind. That's a load of horsesh*t."
6. So, he cheated.
Michelle went on to explain that the middle "Mmmbop" brother was "juggling at least three of us at the same time" and it "was a miracle only one of us got pregnant." TL;DR: Hanson married his first wife just four short months before the birth of their first son. Jeez.
7. Oh, you thought that was it? "Every time his wife would announce she was pregnant or something went down in his life, he would call me. Like clockwork."
We're not sure if she's referring to Taylor's ex-wife or current wife and baby momma, Norwegian singer Marion Ravn, but... maybe he deserves this public shaming. If this is true, we ride at dawn, ladies.
so lemme get this strait.. every time one of taylor hanson's wives announces shes preg, he runs back to michelle branch ?! boooyyyy byyyyeeee !
According to Michelle, "We dated as much as two kids let loose in LA could date." A fan asked her to clarify, to which the singer replied coyly: "I think you should ask him if we dated..." Ooooh gurl. (Maybe we will)
2. Even if their definition of dating is still tbc, Michelle went on to tell fans: "We used to hook up at the studio all the time. Like, all the time. Everyone would go home and it would be just us two. Or we made sure we were the first ones there. He was a horny little f***er. Backseat of his BMW? Check."
3. The dirtiest place they ever uhhh "hooked up"? His brother's bed. Oddly, Michelle didn't specify which one.
4. And the first time she ever got drunk? At the afore mentioned studio with Taylor and his brothers and an "endless supply of whiskey and blow."
5. Her sophomore album, Hotel Paper, is 100% about their situationship.
From lyrics about talking photos of him sleeping, to the line: "maybe this wind blowing in just came from the ocean." "I used to read stories about how he said he realized he wanted to marry her (Taylor's now ex-wife, Natalie) because of some gust of wind. That's a load of horsesh*t."
6. So, he cheated.
Michelle went on to explain that the middle "Mmmbop" brother was "juggling at least three of us at the same time" and it "was a miracle only one of us got pregnant." TL;DR: Hanson married his first wife just four short months before the birth of their first son. Jeez.
7. Oh, you thought that was it? "Every time his wife would announce she was pregnant or something went down in his life, he would call me. Like clockwork."
We're not sure if she's referring to Taylor's ex-wife or current wife and baby momma, Norwegian singer Marion Ravn, but... maybe he deserves this public shaming. If this is true, we ride at dawn, ladies.
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dion  @sweetdee007 |
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♡ 16 11:25 PM - Jul 30, 2023
8. Speaking of, when asked about *that* TMZ article, Michelle merely shrugged and smirked: "I meaaaannnn. Photos speak for themselves." 👀
9. "We were in love."
"He used to tell me all the time that he was going to leave her, and I believed him." Jury's still out on whether we believe her or not, but we can all agree this man is a piece of work. Playing multiple women? While they're having his babies? There's a special place in hell for jerks like you, Taylor Hanson.
10. They still keep in touch.
We don't know who's crazier, him for being a grade-A jerk, or her for keeping him around. When asked who her last text was from, Michelle played coy, but we can all read between the lines here...
11. Does she think Taylor's latest marriage will last?
Michelle capped off her tea-spilling with a message for her ex: "Congrats to you and your mistress!" Ouch. We can't tell if we want her to shut up or hold up because we need more popcorn.
9. "We were in love."
"He used to tell me all the time that he was going to leave her, and I believed him." Jury's still out on whether we believe her or not, but we can all agree this man is a piece of work. Playing multiple women? While they're having his babies? There's a special place in hell for jerks like you, Taylor Hanson.
10. They still keep in touch.
We don't know who's crazier, him for being a grade-A jerk, or her for keeping him around. When asked who her last text was from, Michelle played coy, but we can all read between the lines here...
11. Does she think Taylor's latest marriage will last?
Michelle capped off her tea-spilling with a message for her ex: "Congrats to you and your mistress!" Ouch. We can't tell if we want her to shut up or hold up because we need more popcorn.
